I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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