i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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