i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
