Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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