I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
