The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
