just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
