omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
