i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We have so much sex to catch up on
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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