let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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