Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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