I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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