Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
