Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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