I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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