She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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