I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i came on her dog
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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