I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
