i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
