I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
