So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
