Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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