Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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