btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He did a backflip because drugs
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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