After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Dicks are not precious.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
