I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
