eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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