She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He did a backflip because drugs
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
