My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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