worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I am available for nakedness
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize