I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Randomize
