If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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