I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize