I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
