Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
