I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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