Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Are my feet made of real feet?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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