Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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