ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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