we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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