But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
