So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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