i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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