Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
