In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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