You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Vodka?
Forever.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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