Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
