I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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