new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize