he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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