So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
