i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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