I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
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