Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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