i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
