You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize