Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
