More tranny stories later!
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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