I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
