Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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