In the future we'll all be gay
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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