I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
